Arsenatic

Hey guys remember Myspace? Nope. No one does. These days Myspace seems to be only used for music. (I actually used it to listen to a song recently!) This story takes place no less then about 4 years ago. Isn’t that pathetic. I had never used Myspace but little me judging by the anti cyber bullying speeches we heard at the time it was a place of evil.

This is what I thought a child predator looked like.

Now someone in that grade, I wont mention her name- aw screw it it was Akela, decided  to make one for me. Little ol’ me interpreted this as identity theft.

She apparently had created. But a few months later kids were coming up to we about it. Telling me that she had put pictures of naked men on it.

I told the counselor. Then the action began. There was much interrogating. Me, Akela, and the kid behind the gay rumors. I cant remember his name. Started with a K. He was one of those kids who tried to act mature all the time. One time in lunch he talked about his friends Dad owned an electronic vagina. But lets not get distracted. Where were we- oh yes. The usual subjects.

Sure enough it was all just a big misunderstanding. I was just gullible. There WAS a Myspace account created. The name was “powerpuff” the age was “42”. There is a story behind that name. This one time in class a kid, (the kid with the K at the beginning of his name), said something where he said the word “sedusa” a play on the words ‘’medusa’’ and ‘seduce’. I was quick to point out that Sedusa was the name of a “Powerpuff Girls” villein. All the kids made fun of me for knowing this factoid. What I want to know is why they didn't go “Wait there is a powerpuff girls villein named Sedusa?” No respect.

I mean come on.

I’m not sure if the age has a backstory, unless she was a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy fan. Point is everything was resolved. I myself now have a Facebook account. I created it for the sole purpose of getting in to ANOTHER website with ease. As far as I know powerpuff still exists to this day.

We Even Had A Jingle

These days it seems like everyone is bankerin’ to get a job. I on the underhand am well spended thanks to my business endeavors in elementary. “Everything” my business was called it sold everything: ancient tombs, the secret Krabby Patty formula you name it. Although my business was too dignified to sell the store to some other hack job. There was also a time where there were no cigarettes being sold. Being the pwecious little prodigy of hope I was. I swear. 

Then one day this happened. I was minding my own business at my stand underneath the playground when Joey came by. 

I cant for the life of me remember what the argument was about but it uninvolved ice cream. Did we run out of a flavor? That cant be it. We sold everything. That by default means we have it. Maybe I wouldn't sell it to him because of his mental handicap? Now that could not be it? Prodigy of hope remember. 

One way or another I ended up trapped in one of the bathroom stalls with one of his lackeys. Now to this day I’m not sure why I didn't make the effort of escaping or maybe I was just bidding my time. 

My friends came to help there was a struggle, a tug of war of good and evil, for me. The prodigy. 

The escape a success we ran out. Thats when we saw them. The cold, cold eyes. 

Apparently I had not heard the bell. How long was I in there? I told the others of what had happened. They were not to impressed of there schedule conflict being caused by ice cream that didn't exist. A few days later Joey himself came up to me. FORCED to apologize. The guy was in tears. Justice had been served. Much like the ice cream.