Up, Up, and Away

Let me tell you about Video Brinquedo. They are a brazilian DVD company, distributing such things as "Sonic X". But what there really know for is their mock-busters. In other words, ripoffs.

Unlike Video Brinquedo, I respect my viewers intelligence and will NOT tell you what the above movies are ripping off. Go figure out your self.

I tried watching some of these movies but eventually stopped out of sheer boredom. Those movies I watched were The Little Cars 2, Little Bee, The Frog Prince, and today's feature: What's Up, Balloon to the Rescue. For it is not just bad. Its HILARIOUS (lly bad).

Our film starts out with a flashback. Video Brinquedo must have gotten lazy because they made this movie a sequel to their last mock-buster "Little and Big Monsters". Sensing a LITTLE pattern here. Thus the movie has barely anything to do with the movie its based on except for the house with balloons.

Two scientists (cant remember ANY of the character's names) have discovered a rock that can make there house fly. Now, I must of been not paying attention, because APPARENTLY the rock can also control people when one says "lavender". This becomes important later on and I was very confused. Yet Im still confused, that has got to be the weirdest of rocks ever.

When talking about their discovery the news reporter steals their controller and presses the button. With and evil smirk. Don't ask me why the evil reporter amuses me it just does.

On their journey to wherever to find the what ever they take some girl, some kid, and a frenchie.

In the scene where he is introduced the scientist asks him for some water to which he responds "No, no I am french we drink wine".

Come on Video Brinquedo is that the best you can do he should have said:

"Wee wee I am french let me just twirl my twirly mustache in my beret and stripy shirt and hold my french bread and smoke while standing in front of the Eiffel tower and talk about my love for food, and Jerry Lewis. I must go the Pink Panther has been stollen again".

On their trip the girl reveals she has the hots for frenchie. Of course.

When they get to bland-jungle-land they get out and explore the cave. However french dude is evil! I should have known there is cahoots with reporters you know. He blows up the cave trapping our "heroes". He gets the rock of strange coincidences and uses it on a hot air balloon traveller. He ends up accidentally freeing three monsters from some monster containing thing. Luckily those other guys capture one of them.

With French guy hiding the rock they cant fly their house any more. So they use a hot air balloon. SEE in the movie "Up" it was a BUNCH of balloons. But in here its a HOT AIR balloon.

There is a running gag that involves the small boy taunting the caged monsters with food. I think its food. He says there cookies but they look more like pink Oreo filling and there coming out of a strange tube thing. Then again this movie was dubbed 4kids guys and you know how they can get with foreign foods.

I love donuts as much as I love AMERICA.

So they go to Paris where they get the monster in like two seconds flat. Seriously in the background too. This movie has NO suspense. Meanwhile the french guy tries to convince the girl that the old guys are too old for the job. So they let them sleep while they try to get the third monster.

At China we get to meet the character that makes this movie stand out from the rest. While the monster is attacking China a chinese guy taking pictures. I know he's Chinese because he wears a picture of noodles on his shirt. Like how I wear a shirt with a Hamburger on it.

Chinese guy: "Stupid junky made in China camera"

Even the Chinese hate there stuff. The old guys come back defeat the monster and introduce themselves to the man.

Girl: "Arigoto!"

Chinese: "Thank you but that is japanese, my name is (random mash of pings)."

On the ship the girl has a confession to make.

Girl: "Me and (french guy) we did a bad thing."

Old guy: "I don't want to hear about it."

Me: *raises eyebrow*

Meanwhile the kid messing with the monsters notices something.

Kid: "Hey, that Chinese guy is with the monsters."

Me: "Hey, he has a name. No matter how racist."

Kid: "He didn't even do any thing when I ate my cookie."

Old Guy: "Did you try a fortune cookie."

Me: "What."

Kid: "Huh?"

Old Guy: "Never mind just a bad joke."

Me: "You bet."

It doesn't stop there folks. During the climax which involves Frenchie taking control of everyone and monsters escaping lines like this appear.

Kid: "Hey CHINA give me your camera."
Kid: "Thanks BEGING."

I wouldn't say its racist, because it doesn't make any sense. Why would you call someone by where your from.

Any way french guy is defeated, he and monsters go to monster world, and this line:

Kid: "He's (Chinese guy) smart? I thought he was just going to cook us some dinner".

THE END